Sitting on my bed at night looking out into the stars, when everyone else had gone to sleep, I’d look up and pray to the heavens, to God and to Jesus.  And in those moments I’d pray for forgiveness for all the things I had done that I knew that weren’t good.  I’d pray in hope and with a real love to be close to God and to Lord Jesus and to beg them for a long life for my mother and father, whom I loved so dearly and who I was afraid would die young.  These silent moments in the evening were very magical for me, they were moments in which I was alone with God and I could pray just as I was.  In those few short minutes I could really feel what I believed to be heavenly love from God, its intensity would sometimes bring me to tears because I’d feel even more sorry.  Even though I grew up in a very religious family, its not until I really started to pray like this, of my own accord and in my own way that I began to feel the existence of God, of something greater than man, the world and nature. 

As I got older, harder times followed which drew me even closer to seeking out the meaning and purpose of the suffering that I began to feel and that others were going through, and to seek the answers and the guidance through prayer.

It is because of a prayer one evening that I came to find Gnosis. I still vividly remember praying and asking that evening for help to learn about myself.  I could see that what was within me was causing me to be so unhappy and it was making my life and those around me miserable.  I just wanted to somehow find something to help, a school perhaps that could help me, teach me to learn more about myself and what I was going through. 

I was working at a University in Sydney at the time and my friend saw a little card promoting free courses in Intuition, Astral Travel and learning about the psyche.  I somehow had learnt about intuition and it really interested me to learn more about it.  Through that dear friend, that little card and the efforts of someone putting those cards around that I came to find Gnosis through the Gnostic Movement .  In those first few topics I knew that someone had heard my prayer,  because Gnosis explained what I was going through, what I had seen in myself and it showed me that I could overcome all the things that I was observing in myself.  It was exactly the school and more that I was praying for; and it has been unbelievable since then.

Praying is such an understated experience in the world today and yet if we only knew how to pray – how much more our lives would be enriched.  I can’t truly express the power and reality of praying in my own personal story because it is something that has to be experienced, but I do wish we had more faith as a humanity and put more of our heart into it.

This wonderful and insightful talk by Belzebuub on suffering and going through difficulties has been a great source of inspiration to look deeper into this very thing in my own life.  It prompted me to question in what way I value the difficulties and suffering in life and for what purpose do they serve.

I discovered that one of the greatest illusions I have had about spirituality is what it means to be spiritual. For a long time it meant a life of complete blissfulness, that is – no reactions, no struggles – just being in constant bliss and harmony, meditating in the midst of the peace and tranquillity of nature.  But if we look at our life it doesn’t have any of this, so how do we become spiritual in a life full of difficulties, hard times, reactions, negative states and horrible situations? Can there be a spiritual purpose to it all? Do these things fit into our idea of spirituality?

Looking into this a bit closer I began to see how spiritually stifling it is to have such ideas in the way that it stops us from making use of our life, its circumstance and all that it encompasses to truly become that spiritual being – to attain the awakening.

These illusions about spirituality can really deceive and rob us of the opportunity to reach the Peace within.  For example, even now I can see the impact this idea about spirituality is still having upon my life. You know instead of making use of the difficult times by learning, investigating and applying the ‘inner death’ that Belzebuub speaks about, I find myself going from one extreme behaviour or way of thinking to the other in order to counteract the negativity I feel within me and the uncomfortable situation I’m experiencing.  Underlying this behaviour is this very illusion of what it means to be spiritual.  In its self it is a ‘running away from the learning’ I could be going through in these difficulties,  which in reality are more spiritual in their purpose than I could ever hope for sitting on a hill like a “Garden Buddha”. 

The ideas we hold about what it means to be spiritual doesn’t help to inwardly change, it just keeps us locked into that idea and our negative subconscious states carry on, in the meantime the real avenue for spirituality is right there in front of us in the challenges of life and the reactions that come from it.

It has taking me a while to better understand that what we go through in life, no matter how hard it may be, forms part of the spiritual plan to awaken. And when I have made use of these things by putting in the psychological work I see the plan, I use it, learn from it and gain the rewards at the end of it.

This talk has helped me a great deal to make better use of what lies ahead.  I hope it becomes an inspiration for you too.

Take a few moments to reflect on your day, your week, your year or your life before answering this question so that you can capture how you really feel. 

Do you think being who you are,  the thoughts you have, the feelings that you feel, your relationships and the life you have,  that it’s possible for you to change?  To become more peaceful, centred,  to experience spiritual happiness, to experience true love, to know yourself, be more understanding, tolerant and forgiving?

Here is what Belzebuub, an internationally renowned enlightened gnostic teacher says: “Every human being has the potential to change radically… that’s if we make use of it”     Extract from Belzebuub’s talk on ”Using time well”  http://twitclicks.com/jjt8

Below is a poll to find out what we, as a individuals in this global family, feel or undertand about our potential/ability to change:  

If you want to find out more about your potential for real change, visit http://www.gnosticweb.com/courses

…by changing for the better within, the whole of one’s life can change. Things go on according to what is within – they follow a mechanical track, but by changing, new things, new events are able to take place.

            -  BELZEBUUB      

   http://www.belzebuub.com

This morning I watched a video called The Christ Within by Belzebuub and I could not help but feel his words emanating from a direct experience of the divine force he spoke about. 

Jesus spoke about how through him (the Christ) we reach the father but the true meaning of this has been lost.  Through religion we have been removed from the possibility of experiencing the Christ Within, as belief has thwarted our sense to seek and experience the divine within.

This message by Belzebuub, brings to life the teachings, purpose and experience that the living Christ can have within us when we spiritually work towards that experience. 

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrJ0d7GhW3Y

Year after year we went about the traditions at easter and christmas; walking out of mass many would express how wonderful the priest’s sermon was – but there wasn’t a way to practically apply it and or see any changes that came from it;  things just repeated – bad feelings, anger, resentments, arguements on one hand and pleasurable indulgences to suppress those feelings on other.   My family didn’t so much appreciate this questioning and often saw it as a sinful move towards atheism, but it was quite the opposite.  I wanted that connection with the divine to be more tangible and I wanted to experience the qualities that Jesus spoke about but I couldn’t see how it could be achieved with all this murk that is within us and not knowing how to change it. 

As I got older I began to pursue these questions further in my life, but as we all know,  there are so many things out there that promise much, charge as much and deliver very little, that it makes it hard to seek out the true path that will lead us to a spiritual awakening of the consciousness, to enlightenment.

As Belzebuub explains finding spiritual truth today isn’t easy ( not only because of experiences like mine), but within this myriad of spiritual schools, speakers, books, new age groups, traditions and religions  how do we find the truth? What does it take to find it? What value does experience have in finding the truth?

In this video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkYSBah2HFs , Belzebuub offers an explanation on how to discover the truth.