One of my favourite movies growing up, not just because of Robert Powell’s amazing personification of Jesus and the great performances by all, but because in my heart I loved Jesus very much.
Sitting on my bed at night looking out into the stars, when everyone else had gone to sleep, I’d look up and pray to the heavens, to God and to Jesus. And in those moments I’d pray for forgiveness for all the things I had done that I knew that weren’t good. I’d pray in hope and with a real love to be close to God and to Lord Jesus and to beg them for a long life for my mother and father, whom I loved so dearly and who I was afraid would die young. These silent moments in the evening were very magical for me, they were moments in which I was alone with God and I could pray just as I was. In those few short minutes I could really feel what I believed to be heavenly love from God, its intensity would sometimes bring me to tears because I’d feel even more sorry. Even though I grew up in a very religious family, its not until I really started to pray like this, of my own accord and in my own way that I began to feel the existence of God, of something greater than man, the world and nature.
As I got older, harder times followed which drew me even closer to seeking out the meaning and purpose of the suffering that I began to feel and that others were going through, and to seek the answers and the guidance through prayer.
It is because of a prayer one evening that I came to find Gnosis. I still vividly remember praying and asking that evening for help to learn about myself. I could see that what was within me was causing me to be so unhappy and it was making my life and those around me miserable. I just wanted to somehow find something to help, a school perhaps that could help me, teach me to learn more about myself and what I was going through.
I was working at a University in Sydney at the time and my friend saw a little card promoting free courses in Intuition, Astral Travel and learning about the psyche. I somehow had learnt about intuition and it really interested me to learn more about it. Through that dear friend, that little card and the efforts of someone putting those cards around that I came to find Gnosis through the Gnostic Movement . In those first few topics I knew that someone had heard my prayer, because Gnosis explained what I was going through, what I had seen in myself and it showed me that I could overcome all the things that I was observing in myself. It was exactly the school and more that I was praying for; and it has been unbelievable since then.
Praying is such an understated experience in the world today and yet if we only knew how to pray – how much more our lives would be enriched. I can’t truly express the power and reality of praying in my own personal story because it is something that has to be experienced, but I do wish we had more faith as a humanity and put more of our heart into it.